I got what I needed today. He knows exactly what we need whether we realize it or not.
I was starting to struggle with the annoying "faucet drip" thoughts. I have sent some lengthy emails and they have been about "us", and I was beginning to think that I was becoming the ever annoying dripping faucet. The last thing that I want to do is be nagging or annoying or pestering or self-centered about this. I really desire to see God work a miracle turning this into something beautiful to bring Him glory. As I struggled with this today, I received numerous encouragement today from so many people. In the emails I received today alone, I was told that there are people praying for us in churches all over this area, in Louisiana, Texas, Colorado, in several places in Missouri, Kansas, California, and in 7 churches in Maine. Do you guys realize how overwhelmingly encouraging that is to us. We cry everytime we read this or someone tells us this because it absolutely amazes us and it certainly humbles us.
We have been told encouraging things such that we are being strong, an inspiration, an encouragement, a witness. Please know that those are words of affirmation that do affirm love for us. I guess it just surprises me a little because I look at it a little differently, and I'd like to explain what I see through this right now.
I see that a storm is coming. The weather report is in, and we are preparing for it. We are boarding up our windows and tying everything down. We don't know how bad it really is going to be, but the weather report says it's going to be pretty harsh. Now, think about this. We are just preparing for it right now. We really don't know how bad it's going to be. It could be as bad as predicted or it could just be another storm or it could be worse than ever thought. Are we prepared enough for the storm? We might think so because we are talking tough and planning to ride it out to the end. Until the storm actually hits, do we realize or know how prepared we really are for it. Until it actually hits, we won't know how bad it will be or how long it will last. Weather reports are educated guesses that are there to help us prepare for the storm, but they are not 100% accurate.
Katrina was a perfect example of this. No one ever thought that it would do so much damage. People prepared as best they knew, but they weren't prepared for such devastation; lives have been forever changed from it. Some lost their life; some did not.
There is a storm coming our way. It's called battling cancer. The report is in, and it's going to get nasty and ugly. We are preparing for it, but how bad will it really be? Will it be easier or harder than predicted? We are not discouraged right now because we haven't started the battle yet. Does that mean we are strong -- maybe, maybe not. Until we have been through the storm, we won't really know how we will fare. I say this to say that while we may seem to take this well now, the hard part hasn't hit yet. It's around the corner, and I hope that we will stand firm through it and weather it with the grace of God totally wrapped around us. As days drag into weeks or months, will we stand firm? With all my heart, I hope so.
One thing I can say right now is that I completely trust God. It is as simple as when I was a child and I trusted my parents to take care of me, feed me, protect me, clothe me, and nurture me. I trust God the same way. When I trusted my parents as a child, I never worried about how they were going to take care of me. Much the same, I don't worry now; I trust God.
The first few winds have come in on this storm. Rex has started his chemo pills. Next week, the rains should start and the winds will be stronger as Rex gets a full dose of this chemo and radiation.
Pray that we will stand firm and not succumb.
Pray that my body will get strong and back to full health, so that I can focus on this storm in our family.
Pray that Rex will not have doubts and thoughts of defeat.
Pray that Rex will not experience all of the bad side effects.
Pray that Rex will heal.
Pray that God will show us where He wants to take us from here (not a life of mediocrity, but a life of example and excellence for Christ).
Thank you all so very much,
Donna Meadows
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