I just want to share our days with you. Whenever I am angry, upset, sad, happy, frustrated, I tend to turn to researching Scripture and writing/typing my thoughts. And with this cancer junk, I feel a great release when I email these updates. It feels almost like I'm sprinkling prayer dust everywhere.
I went to my primary Dr. today and discovered I had strep. It wasn't an ordinary visit, though. I've shared this with some of you already. But, I will share with the rest. There is a specific dr. in the office I like to see, and he had no available appointments for today, so I ended up with second choice. To give a little background, Rex and I have never gone to this office together that I can remember. He's gone a few times; I have been once or twice myself, and I have taken the kids for their checkups all over a span of ten years. We just aren't there frequently. So, much to surprise, when the nurse was getting ready to swab my throat, she asked me how Rex was doing. I was somewhat shocked because I didn't know she knew to put the name with a face much less connect it to me. She obviously knew that he had cancer. So, I gave her a summary (a lot shorter than these emails - ha ha). Then, when the doctor came in, he started talking to me about Rex and wanted to know if I went to church, and if we were faithful. He just kept asking questions starting out gently probing until he received a confirmation of salvation. Then, he went on to tell me the story of Esau and Jacob starting with Jacob stealing Esau's birthright all the way to Jacob trying to reconcile with Esau. I wasn't sure where he was going with this, but the doctor was very intent on this story. I listened. Then, he got to the part you read in Genesis 32 where Jacob wrestled with a man of God all night, and the man afflicted Jacob in the hip by knocking it out of joint, and as they wrestled Jacob would not let go. The man implored Jacob to let him go and he would not until the man blessed Jacob. My doctor then said, "You and Rex are about to go into a wrestling. You hold onto God and don't let go until He gives you a blessing." He then asked me to come home and read Psalms, specifically Psalm 18. It was definitely unlike any doctor visit I have ever had. Then, as I checked out, he didn't even charge for the visit. Just another confirmation that God is in control.
We also went to the radiation oncologist again for Rex to get marked for radiation and also to get the results of the PET scan. He did not have good news. They saw something on the CT scan in the spleen, but really thought it was a cyst because they hadn't had any circumstances where esophageal cancer had gone to the spleen. The PET scan shows activity going on which lead the doctors to believe it is cancer. He also has more than lymph nodes than just the original single node showing activity. Plus, he has an adrenaline gland on top of the kidney showing activity. So...it appears worse than previously thought, and may mean surgery is not an option. It stages him to a Stage 4 cancer. Dr. Delcharco did not want to have to deliver this today. He told us that he had been dreading it all day. He then prayed with us, and offered up to God a precious prayer asking for healing and guidance and wisdom.
After we left, Rex asked me, "How am I supposed to feel?" I just asked him how he felt, and he replied, "I'm not dead yet. I've got things to do. I have to go camping with my family. I have to build my girls a treehouse. I've got lots of things to do." This puts life in perspective in a totally different way. I challenge everyone to think about this and ask yourself what are you doing to impact this world for Christ? Are you spending your time with things that last? I know that we have been majorly guilty of sitting in cruise control and enjoying the comfort zone.
I sort of feel like this is a two sided coin. One one side, I am surprised that God thought us capable of going through this (he never gives more than we can bear); on the other side, I am a little saddened that He had to take such drastic measures to get us out of our comfort zone. And, I hope that we don't try to nudge our way back in the comfort zone out of fear because God has a purpose and we must pursue it.
Love you all!
You have been incredible!
Keep praying,
Donna Meadows
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