Tuesday, June 6, 2006

Thank you all for praying for us this past week. We had to pack up and leave shortly after our doctor appointment on Friday; we got home about 10pm Friday night and went to a Hallelujah Acres seminar on Saturday morning in Shelby, NC. Sunday afternoon, we finally had a chance to rest from our trip. I am sorry that I haven't sent out an update before now.

This last week was a roller coaster of emotions: apprehension, anticipation, dread, hope, frustration, optimism, peace, uncertainty, sorrow, and contentment. We experienced all of them throughout the week and even going into the weekend after receiving the results of the scans.

Basically, there is not much change in the scan results from March 16th to May 30th/31st scans. This time around an MRI and bone scan were done which had not been done before. His brain scan was clear; his bone scan was clear. The PET scan revealed some difference. His esophagus appears to be normal now with metabolic activity. We do not have the results of the biopsies yet that the Gatroenterologist took during the scope, but he did say that everything in the esophagus appeared normal other than the scarring from the radiation. He still has metabolic activity in his spleen, right adrenal gland, and three lymph nodes. The spleen lesion is smaller than before but shows more metabolic activity. The right adrenal gland is slightly larger with more metabolic activity. There are still three lymph nodes involved, also exhibiting a little more metabolic activity than before. Rex noted some distinct differences in the procedures with the PET scan done in Tulsa, OK compared to his prior PET scans done here in Hickory. It is possible that the seemingly more thorough procedures in Tulsa could have produced more reliable results. So, did Rex really get a little worse or did he just get better results from a more thorough testing procedure?

About three weeks ago, Rex had a comprehensive blood panel done that showed levels consistent with hyperthyroidism. We are not sure how this connects with his cancer other than that we know that adrenal insufficiency can cause the thyroid to overcompensate.

So...while he still does not have pain, he exhibits/shows no sign of cancer in his esophagus and his energy/stamina increases daily, his prognosis is still the same - stage IV esophageal cancer, which according to the medical oncologist at Cancer Treatment Center typically carries a life expectancy of 6 months without chemo and 1 year with chemo. This does not take into account any other factors such as naturopathic treatment or nutrition or God's healing power. The oncologist also did not talk to us about any comparisons with prior scans. He seemed to not take any difference into account, possibly because the numbers were all close to the prior scan.

Where does that leave us? Quite frankly, we are not any more dependent on God than before cancer became a part of our lives; however, we are more cognizant of our dependence on Him. See, whether you show signs of sickness or not, your every breath is at the mercy of God and His will for your life. The level at which you embody this reality could be vastly different than the awareness that has been manifested or brought about in Rex' life.

What are we going to do now? We are seeking God for His direction for our lives. Physically, are we doing what is best to build Rex' immune system and body, as well as, our entire family's health? Spiritually, are we are serving God in the capacity that He wants our service?

Rex attempted to go to work this morning and couldn't bring himself to pull in the parking lot. He found himself at the prayer chapel pretty soon after. He needed a touch from God. Some of you remember when I emailed about his experience on April 30th during the Sunday morning service when he went to the prayer chapel to pray and meditate on some Psalms. Because it was the 30th, he went to Psalms 30. Well, today was similar. He needed to pray and meditate on Psalms. Again, since it is the 6th of June, he turned to Psalms 6. Just like before, God met Rex at his point of need. These two Psalms epitomize the same theme. When Rex read it the first time, he was in amazement as he realized the similarities in this Psalms to the Psalms he read April 30th.

Psalms 6
1 To the Chief Musician. With stringed instruments. On an eight-stringed harp. A Psalm of David. O Lord, do not rebuke me in Your anger, Nor chasten me in Your hot displeasure. 2 Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I am weak; O Lord, heal me, for my bones are troubled. 3 My soul also is greatly troubled; But You, O Lord--how long? 4 Return, O Lord, deliver me! Oh, save me for Your mercies' sake! 5 For in death there is no remembrance of You; In the grave who will give You thanks? 6 I am weary with my groaning; All night I make my bed swim; I drench my couch with my tears. 7 My eye wastes away because of grief; It grows old because of all my enemies. 8 Depart from me, all you workers of iniquity; For the Lord has heard the voice of my weeping. 9 The Lord has heard my supplication; The Lord will receive my prayer. 10 Let all my enemies be ashamed and greatly troubled; Let them turn back and be ashamed suddenly.

Psalms 30
1 A Psalm. A Song at the dedication of the house of David. I will extol You, O Lord, for You have lifted me up, And have not let my foes rejoice over me. 2 O Lord my God, I cried out to You, And You healed me. 3 O Lord, You brought my soul up from the grave; You have kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit. 4 Sing praise to the Lord, You saints of His, And give thanks at the remembrance of His holy name. 5 For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning. 6 Now in my prosperity I said, "I shall never be moved." 7 Lord, by Your favor You have made my mountain stand strong; You hid Your face, and I was troubled. 8 I cried out to You, O Lord; And to the Lord I made supplication: 9 "What profit is there in my blood, When I go down to the pit? Will the dust praise You? Will it declare Your truth? 10 Hear, O Lord, and have mercy on me; Lord, be my helper!" 11 You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, 12 To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.

In the face of uncertainty and despair, God is faithful. He has allowed this, not for our demise, rather it is for His glory. Praise Him! Jesus is worthy of all praise! He is everlasting!

What is troubling you today? Have you released your worries to an infinite, Almighty God who has unlimited knowledge and understanding of everything and everyone or are you trying to handle it with your own finite abilities, with your limited understanding of what lies ahead. God is Worthy! Revere Him with the praise He is due regardless of your circumstances, regardless of that worry that you hold close to your heart. Release that worry and feel His peace and contentment in your life. He desires you to rest in Him.

Have a blessed day.

Donna Meadows