Tuesday, February 7, 2006 #2

Rex went to work Monday and today, and was able to work most of the day. That is a BIG praise! I am telling you that it is wonderful to see God bless Rex with the strength to work, and the ability to eat normally. He actually gained a pound! I give God the glory for it all. I thank you for the prayers. All of you that have been praying for Rex, this is answer to your prayers for him. I can't say thank you enough. It is my dream to be able to grow old with him. Before all of this came about, we would regularly joke about how we would be as an old couple. I smile just thinking about it. I still want that, cancer doesn't change our dreams.

Sunday, Feb. 5th, was the one year anniversary of Rex' mom's death. I wasn't sure how Rex would deal with it because the 1 year anniversary is usually an emotional milestone anyway, and for him to be dealing with his own mortality, could have made it even more emotional. I think he feels so thankful that she is in Heaven with Jesus and she's no longer struggling for every breath she takes that it is hard for him to have sorrow, especially when Rex knows that he will see her again someday.

Alot of times, I have something on my heart, and I spend more time sharing that than I do sharing anything dramatic about us or Rex. I share intentionally, but I didn't start emailing you all for that reason. My original reason for emailing was to genuinely let everyone know how we are doing, specifically how Rex is doing physically; however, it has turned into more than that.

As long as you don't mind me sharing, I will share. I said in an earlier email that when I am frustrated or burdened over something, I tend to write my thoughts and study Scripture about it. This is not anything new to me. What is new to me is sharing those thoughts in an email and sending them to others. When I write/type, it sets my heart free from worry; better than that, many times I believe that God enlightens me through it, and reveals something that I need from it. Best of all, I have found that it allows me to give my burdens to Jesus and trust that He understands, and He is in control of it. If it's something that is keeping me awake to the point that I can't sleep, I can usually easily go to sleep after I write about it.

I meant to send this out yesterday; instead, I felt I needed to do something different with my time. When all of this started, I was afraid that we would become self-involved. I was afraid that all my thoughts and concerns would turn inward on what Rex was going through, what I was going through, and what my girls were going through. To my unexpected surprise, the opposite has happened. We have a greater burden for the people around us than ever before. As I say this, I know that I am going to have to walk my talk. I hope that I will not ever, ever turn back because of fear.

I have told you that this has been an incredible journey so far. Can you believe that only a month has passed?

So much has happened in this past month. I have been so concerned with burdens that other people around me are carrying; things that I think are much more difficult than what we are going through.

I didn't think that God would ever allow me to be used to the depth that He is opening doors. I know that He is opening some of these doors because I have become a much more willing and obedient child. I wish that I could tell you everything that is going on behind the scenes. Hopefully, down the road, I will get to share some answers to prayer.

Sin's consequences are devastating beyond what we can imagine. So many people think that when they sin, they have allowed themselves to be fooled into thinking that no one else is affected. I once read a quote that I will never forget: We will never know the full consequence of sin just as we never know which snowflake caused the avalanche. Please, please think about the things you say to your loved ones - are they words of hurt or words of love? Think about the things you do, do you really think it's a secret? do you really think that it doesn't affect anyone else around you? do you really think that there is a tomorrow for you to make a positive change? Maybe there is, maybe there isn't. God has your days numbered; you do not know that number.

I am so thankful that we can personally ask for forgiveness from Almighty God instead of going through a priest. Leviticus 4 will make you very thankful for that, too. There is nothing that is too great for forgiveness. He is the all-powerful, all-knowing, ever-present God.
That sin that you think is unforgiveable - God is all-powerful; there is nothing he can't forgive. Rememer, our purpose is to glorify God. His forgiveness of even the worst sin is glory to God.
That sin that you think no one will know about - God is ever-present and all-knowing; He already knows about it. You may be hiding it from the people around you, but you are aware of it; God is very aware of it. Those close to you may be aware of it. It may be pride or fear that grips you and keeps you wrapped in your sin. Ultimately, you are missing out on the abundant life that God can give you and your sin is grieving the heart of God. What you cover, God uncovers; what you uncover, God covers.

That sin that you think that you will give up tomorrow - tomorrow may never come. You have reduced the Creator of Heaven and Earth to a mere handyman that you can call when you get in a jam. He is not a beggar; He is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords who made the ultimate sacrifice so that you and I can have life.

God is just and He is love. Because He is just, he can't ignore sin; there is judgment for sin. Because He is love, God has made a way for us to be forgiven by sending Jesus to this earth to die on the cross for us and pay the penalty of our sin. Will you acknowledge that you need forgiveness? Will you accept His forgiveness? Will you seek His healing in your life? He is ready to give it to you, not as a 24/7 handyman, rather as the all-powerful, all-knowing, ever-present God.
Psalm 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

Love you guys,
Donna Meadows