There has not been much improvement in Rex these past 3-4 weeks. He is certainly doing far better than he was 2 months ago, but he is still very weak overall. He probably has two good days a week, relative to his overall wellness. These are two days where he interacts with us, feels like talking, or even venturing out. What used to be relatively easy things to do around the house will totally wipe him out now.
His hemoglobin has been low the last several weeks, so he has been getting shots to try to build his blood; he has also received a blood transfusion to help with that. His hemoglobin has come up, but he still doesn't have the stamina that we were hoping that it would give him. We don't know for sure what triggers a good day for him versus a bad one. We have been looking at different things like supplements and food, but we don't see a real connection there. We have seen some improvement in how he feels when he has good bowel movements, but even that doesn't always help.
Today has been especially hard on him. He has had extreme nausea and pain throughout the entire day. He attempted to eat one bite of food this morning, but within minutes vomited. His vomit had what appeared to be old blood in it. He hasn't vomited anymore today, but he's had a tough day. He was finally able to keep a little something down this evening.
Rex has about 10 days left of his medical leave before he loses his full time job and his health insurance rolls over to COBRA. He hasn't had a paycheck in 8 weeks now; he does qualify for some disability with his employer; with that, he will receive 60% of his normal pay for a period of six months. His COBRA insurance will take about 40% of his disability pay leaving us with about 36% of his full time pay to live off of. I am concerned and a little fearful about this change. It's hard financially and emotionally. The financial part is obvious. The emotional speaks harder. It definitely shows Rex' illness and failure to improve or get stronger. It taunts death in front of our hearts and minds.
God has provided everything that we have needed throughout this past year and a half. I am very thankful for that. I will admit that we are in a financial crunch right now, any reserves we had are gone. We will have some relief once Rex' employer short term disability gets approved because they will back date his disability pay to the last day that he worked, and that will hopefully help us get caught up with bills that are due and/or past due. There is some hang up with his disability, so please pray for that to get processed and approved.
I haven't said much in a while about how the girls are handling Rex' illness. Last year, they had a really hard time while Rex was doing chemo and in and out of the hospital; once he resumed work you could definitely sense their relief as everything was going well again. Now, he has been out of work for a while, and they are very aware of his illness. They pray for him constantly and write notes to him expressing their love and desire to see him get better. They are cognizant of the seriousness of his illness, and they know that this disease claims so many lives. I have opportunities to share with them how good God is even when it seems that He allows things like this to happen. I stress that God always knows what is best even when it hurts us so much. I try to let them know that God can take tragedy and trauma in our lives to mold us into people that can impact the world and make a difference. Yet, I also allow them to feel the sadness and hurt associated with their dad's illness and want them to know that it is ok to not like his cancer. Overall, I think that they are coping extremely well. I am sure that the prayers that surround our family so consistently have protected the girls in and through this. Rex is a family man through and through. He has never expressed much interest in anything outside of family; his favorite activity is to be with his family, do with his family and go with his family. I sense that the girls are starting to forget this as he is not able to interact and play with them the way that he always has in the past. I want them to be able to retain the good memories of him and remember his devotion and dedication to them.
As always, we are constantly asking for God's wisdom and guidance each day for what to do. I don't really know what else to say; this is just so hard. I want Rex healed so very very much. It hurts so much it feels like my heart is actually breaking sometimes.
I don't really like ending on such a pitiful note; through the sadness, I am able to see good in each day and know that, "This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."
Donna Meadows
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Monday, July 09, 2007
Friday, June 29, 2007
The past 8 weeks have been our darkest days yet through this illness. Rex had gotten so weak from mid-May to mid-June that I didn't know what to expect day to day. As I said in my previous email, he attempted to start a protocol with a cancer research institute. He was taking this particular amino acid formula that was supposed to deprive the cancer of certain amino acids and give him others that would help him. The week he started this protocol he either picked up some sort of stomach bug or this stuff really upset his body. At first, I believed that he had just gotten some sort of stomach bug, but as the weeks went by, it seems that it may have been the amino acid formula really messing with him because he just kept feeling worse and worse and was getting weaker and weaker. He had gotten to the point of staying in the bed all the time; he was semi-conscious most of the time; he was eating very very little; he was just not doing well, and he was getting worse as he continued to take this formula.
I finally got to the point that I realized he was very malnourished and he needed to eat -- something had to change. So, I encouraged him to concentrate on nourishing his body as a top priority; if that meant not doing the amino acids, then so be it. Since going off of the amino acid formula, he has greatly improved. He is still far from where he needs to be, but he is doing SO MUCH better. He is back to Rex - aware of his surroundings; he is still very weak, but he is not staying in the bed all of the time; he is able to interact with me and the kids; it is a slow process, but I see him gaining strength daily. His eating is still poor, but it is getting better.
I don't want to knock this research protocol because when I talked to them, they had not experienced this problem with other patients; I have wondered if maybe he had some sort of an allergic reaction to it. It seems kinda weird that he would have an allergic reaction to amino acids, but we don't know how else to attribute his reaction to it.
Rex has been out of work for 5 weeks straight now. We need direction in what to do next. I know that he does not have the stamina to work right now; he tires very easily. His body is in a fight for his life, and he just can't sustain working even part-time right now.
Rex is still in chronic pain, but I think that he has come to a point that it is part of his daily life and he deals with it. He doesn't talk about it unless I ask him. He doesn't complain at all. As anyone with chronic pain knows, it is always worse through the night and his particular pain hurts worse when he lies down, so he does not rest well at night and spends his nights alternating between trying to sleep in the bed or sleep sitting up leaned over pillows or sleep in a recliner chair. Restless nights make it harder for his body to recuperate or repair.
With Rex' cancer, there is really not a whole lot of promise that chemo can even offer him; we were told that it had a 10% chance that it might help shrink the cancer; not that it would shrink it 10%, just 10% that it might even help at all. It could, however, help alleviate the pain from the cancer. So, we had decided a few months ago that he would try some chemo to see if it would help his pain. At the same time, we were looking into this cancer protocol. We decided to give the research institute a try first. After attempting it for 5 weeks with no change in his pain and Rex just getting sicker, Rex started oral chemo 3 weeks ago.
Rex is dealing with nausea, sometimes severe, which also affects his eating, but it is much easier to control than it was while he was taking the other stuff. We can't see a real difference in his pain level, but I do think that the periods of rest that he does have are better. He seems to have a little deeper sleep pattern when he is resting, whereas before he was always half awake even when he was trying to sleep.
There are a couple of nutritional things that Rex did that seemed to work well when he felt well last year that he has re-focused his energy on doing.
Everyday that we have together is a precious gift that we don't take lightly. As we continue to seek God's wisdom and guidance for Rex' health, we are continually faced with our dependence on God for every breath that we are given. Whether Rex will be healed from this disease is an ever present question in our minds. At the same time, we don't want to spend our thoughts everyday obsessed with this question; instead, we would rather take one day at a time and live each day to the best that we can, doing what God wants us to do.
I love to find little statements or sayings that reveal truth yet seem profound in itself. I recently came across one that I don't recall having ever read before. "In order for God to use a man greatly, He must bruise him deeply." A lot of times I think that we go through bruising in our life, and we want to scream that God is not fair or does not love us; when really God just wants to make us great. God wants to mold us into great people that do great things. How do you respond to the bruises in your life? Do you dwell on it and think that it is an injustice or do you accept the bruising in your life to develop you and make you a greater person? Sometimes, it is hard to digest that circumstances beyond our control can have a positive impact in our lives, especially when it is painful and hurts; I think that is where faith and trust in an Almighty, Sovereign God have to rule over our human, limited minds and hearts. I can look back at various trials in my life and remember the pain; more than that, I can see the good that came from it even though at the time I couldn't fathom good from it all.
My bruising right now is nothing compared to the bruises that Rex has right now. And, I look at this and ask, "God are you just bruising Rex so that you can use him greatly?" Of course, I want the God's answer to be an emphatic YES! I have never begged for anything in my life more than for God to grant Rex healing and longer life with us. I want it so much that it hurts deep inside. Sometimes, I can't imagine God not granting health to Rex, but then I see others in similar situations with a more desperate set of circumstances that want healing just as much as we do and didn't get it. Why would we have more favor from God than another family? We are certainly no more deserving than they.
Trust in an Almighty God is imperative to get past the things we don't understand. God sees all and knows all past, present, and future; I have to trust that because of that, He absolutely knows what is best.
Have a great day!
Thank your for caring and praying for us,
Donna Meadows
I finally got to the point that I realized he was very malnourished and he needed to eat -- something had to change. So, I encouraged him to concentrate on nourishing his body as a top priority; if that meant not doing the amino acids, then so be it. Since going off of the amino acid formula, he has greatly improved. He is still far from where he needs to be, but he is doing SO MUCH better. He is back to Rex - aware of his surroundings; he is still very weak, but he is not staying in the bed all of the time; he is able to interact with me and the kids; it is a slow process, but I see him gaining strength daily. His eating is still poor, but it is getting better.
I don't want to knock this research protocol because when I talked to them, they had not experienced this problem with other patients; I have wondered if maybe he had some sort of an allergic reaction to it. It seems kinda weird that he would have an allergic reaction to amino acids, but we don't know how else to attribute his reaction to it.
Rex has been out of work for 5 weeks straight now. We need direction in what to do next. I know that he does not have the stamina to work right now; he tires very easily. His body is in a fight for his life, and he just can't sustain working even part-time right now.
Rex is still in chronic pain, but I think that he has come to a point that it is part of his daily life and he deals with it. He doesn't talk about it unless I ask him. He doesn't complain at all. As anyone with chronic pain knows, it is always worse through the night and his particular pain hurts worse when he lies down, so he does not rest well at night and spends his nights alternating between trying to sleep in the bed or sleep sitting up leaned over pillows or sleep in a recliner chair. Restless nights make it harder for his body to recuperate or repair.
With Rex' cancer, there is really not a whole lot of promise that chemo can even offer him; we were told that it had a 10% chance that it might help shrink the cancer; not that it would shrink it 10%, just 10% that it might even help at all. It could, however, help alleviate the pain from the cancer. So, we had decided a few months ago that he would try some chemo to see if it would help his pain. At the same time, we were looking into this cancer protocol. We decided to give the research institute a try first. After attempting it for 5 weeks with no change in his pain and Rex just getting sicker, Rex started oral chemo 3 weeks ago.
Rex is dealing with nausea, sometimes severe, which also affects his eating, but it is much easier to control than it was while he was taking the other stuff. We can't see a real difference in his pain level, but I do think that the periods of rest that he does have are better. He seems to have a little deeper sleep pattern when he is resting, whereas before he was always half awake even when he was trying to sleep.
There are a couple of nutritional things that Rex did that seemed to work well when he felt well last year that he has re-focused his energy on doing.
Everyday that we have together is a precious gift that we don't take lightly. As we continue to seek God's wisdom and guidance for Rex' health, we are continually faced with our dependence on God for every breath that we are given. Whether Rex will be healed from this disease is an ever present question in our minds. At the same time, we don't want to spend our thoughts everyday obsessed with this question; instead, we would rather take one day at a time and live each day to the best that we can, doing what God wants us to do.
I love to find little statements or sayings that reveal truth yet seem profound in itself. I recently came across one that I don't recall having ever read before. "In order for God to use a man greatly, He must bruise him deeply." A lot of times I think that we go through bruising in our life, and we want to scream that God is not fair or does not love us; when really God just wants to make us great. God wants to mold us into great people that do great things. How do you respond to the bruises in your life? Do you dwell on it and think that it is an injustice or do you accept the bruising in your life to develop you and make you a greater person? Sometimes, it is hard to digest that circumstances beyond our control can have a positive impact in our lives, especially when it is painful and hurts; I think that is where faith and trust in an Almighty, Sovereign God have to rule over our human, limited minds and hearts. I can look back at various trials in my life and remember the pain; more than that, I can see the good that came from it even though at the time I couldn't fathom good from it all.
My bruising right now is nothing compared to the bruises that Rex has right now. And, I look at this and ask, "God are you just bruising Rex so that you can use him greatly?" Of course, I want the God's answer to be an emphatic YES! I have never begged for anything in my life more than for God to grant Rex healing and longer life with us. I want it so much that it hurts deep inside. Sometimes, I can't imagine God not granting health to Rex, but then I see others in similar situations with a more desperate set of circumstances that want healing just as much as we do and didn't get it. Why would we have more favor from God than another family? We are certainly no more deserving than they.
Trust in an Almighty God is imperative to get past the things we don't understand. God sees all and knows all past, present, and future; I have to trust that because of that, He absolutely knows what is best.
Have a great day!
Thank your for caring and praying for us,
Donna Meadows
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Rex came through the gall bladder removal surgery great with lots of promise. He initially had less pain as he wasn't needing near the pain meds that he needed up to surgery. Shortly after his surgery, he started having pain in his spleen area and kidney/adrenal gland area. We are not sure if indeed these are the affected areas, but the pain radiates from where those organs are located.
He is losing weight again.
His pain has considerably increased in the last ten days. He has for several months now not slept more than 4 - 5 hours a night because the pain is worse at night. We originally attributed that to his gall bladder, but it has continued after the surgery. Last night was the worst night as he slept maybe 2 hours and could not get any relief from pain meds at all. He had been able to manage his pain up until this past week.
Since last week, it seems that he only gets 1-2 hours relief after taking meds; then last night, he didn't feel any relief with them.
He attempted to go to work today; it was all he could do to get up and go.
He has been discouraged these last few weeks thinking that this was too big for him to beat. This is to the point of being a total God thing for us. We have done all that we know to do to boost his immune system and strengthen his body.
This morning, I have hit my point of total reliance on God's supernatural healing with Rex' body because I don't know of anything else that I or we could be doing to help him as far as cancer is concerned. I guess in some ways, it seems, that we have been trying to heal Rex in our own strength over this past year. While that may have been a small part of our motive, I think the greater thought on our part, was that we have learned and realized more and more over this past year how very important it is to give your body the nutrients that God created our bodies to need in order to maintain health and prevent most illnesses.
I don't know if cancer is ravaging his body or not; the surgeon didn't seem to think that it was a real threat, but the pain these days has not been explained by any other fault.
If cancer is the culprit of his pain, pray for God's healing to Rex' body. If it is not cancer, pray for his doctors' to have wisdom and an alert mind to determine the cause of his pain and fix it. Pray for us to know exactly what to do each hour, each day regarding his health whether it is to take him here or there or to do this treatment or that treatment. We desperately need God's guidance, direction, and healing right now.
As always, thank you for caring and praying for us,
He is losing weight again.
His pain has considerably increased in the last ten days. He has for several months now not slept more than 4 - 5 hours a night because the pain is worse at night. We originally attributed that to his gall bladder, but it has continued after the surgery. Last night was the worst night as he slept maybe 2 hours and could not get any relief from pain meds at all. He had been able to manage his pain up until this past week.
Since last week, it seems that he only gets 1-2 hours relief after taking meds; then last night, he didn't feel any relief with them.
He attempted to go to work today; it was all he could do to get up and go.
He has been discouraged these last few weeks thinking that this was too big for him to beat. This is to the point of being a total God thing for us. We have done all that we know to do to boost his immune system and strengthen his body.
This morning, I have hit my point of total reliance on God's supernatural healing with Rex' body because I don't know of anything else that I or we could be doing to help him as far as cancer is concerned. I guess in some ways, it seems, that we have been trying to heal Rex in our own strength over this past year. While that may have been a small part of our motive, I think the greater thought on our part, was that we have learned and realized more and more over this past year how very important it is to give your body the nutrients that God created our bodies to need in order to maintain health and prevent most illnesses.
I don't know if cancer is ravaging his body or not; the surgeon didn't seem to think that it was a real threat, but the pain these days has not been explained by any other fault.
If cancer is the culprit of his pain, pray for God's healing to Rex' body. If it is not cancer, pray for his doctors' to have wisdom and an alert mind to determine the cause of his pain and fix it. Pray for us to know exactly what to do each hour, each day regarding his health whether it is to take him here or there or to do this treatment or that treatment. We desperately need God's guidance, direction, and healing right now.
As always, thank you for caring and praying for us,
Donna Meadows
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Friday, January 26, 2007
This is really just a prayer request. Of course, all of my updates are prayer requests, but this one has a little more ugency with it.
Rex has had a really hard week this week. He has been in quite a bit of pain around the clock. At the beginning of the month, we and his oncologist thought that it was consistent with gallbladder trouble; then, he had the ultrasound that didn't show gall stones. So, Rex, in his mind, reverted his thinking to the cancer causing the pain. Now, he has decided that his gallbladder is the culprit of most, if not all, of his pain. When we first thought that the problem was his gallbladder, he started doing gallbladder flushes daily sometimes twice daily; his pain level went from an 8 to around 2-4 and even no pain at times. Then, after the ultrasound, he quit doing the flushes and his pain increased again to a consistent level of 8. So, whether his gallbladder is involved or not, the flush was helping.
Since everything is connected, when one part of our body is out of sync, it affects neighboring body functions. The excessive bile being produced is affecting his acid reflux which adds to his discomfort and is not good considering he had cancer in his esophagus (which commonly afflicts people with acid reflux). As he is trying to cleanse his gall bladder and empower his body with massive doses of vitamin C, his body is resisting because of the side effect of constipation from his pain medicine. At this point, everything he eats is bothering him now, producing pain and nausea. Then, he doesn't want to eat, and he is weak from not nourishing his body.
On top of that, Rex' job (which only has about 10 employees in their branch) is more demanding these days. They just recently lost two of their employees, which has put a bigger load on the rest of them. He needs to just have several days where he can get his body back in sync and functioning better, but it's hard when he really can't take more than a day here and there which he has had to do the last couple of weeks just so he can function the rest of the week.
I ask you to pray for his strength as he is going to try to work today (he stayed home yesterday and felt lousy all day and really felt lousy this morning too); please pray for their office to have a time blessing; pray for God to show us what to do to get Rex' body functioning better. Pray for Rex to be encouraged today.
As always, thank you for caring for us and praying for Rex so consistently,
Donna Meadows
Rex has had a really hard week this week. He has been in quite a bit of pain around the clock. At the beginning of the month, we and his oncologist thought that it was consistent with gallbladder trouble; then, he had the ultrasound that didn't show gall stones. So, Rex, in his mind, reverted his thinking to the cancer causing the pain. Now, he has decided that his gallbladder is the culprit of most, if not all, of his pain. When we first thought that the problem was his gallbladder, he started doing gallbladder flushes daily sometimes twice daily; his pain level went from an 8 to around 2-4 and even no pain at times. Then, after the ultrasound, he quit doing the flushes and his pain increased again to a consistent level of 8. So, whether his gallbladder is involved or not, the flush was helping.
Since everything is connected, when one part of our body is out of sync, it affects neighboring body functions. The excessive bile being produced is affecting his acid reflux which adds to his discomfort and is not good considering he had cancer in his esophagus (which commonly afflicts people with acid reflux). As he is trying to cleanse his gall bladder and empower his body with massive doses of vitamin C, his body is resisting because of the side effect of constipation from his pain medicine. At this point, everything he eats is bothering him now, producing pain and nausea. Then, he doesn't want to eat, and he is weak from not nourishing his body.
On top of that, Rex' job (which only has about 10 employees in their branch) is more demanding these days. They just recently lost two of their employees, which has put a bigger load on the rest of them. He needs to just have several days where he can get his body back in sync and functioning better, but it's hard when he really can't take more than a day here and there which he has had to do the last couple of weeks just so he can function the rest of the week.
I ask you to pray for his strength as he is going to try to work today (he stayed home yesterday and felt lousy all day and really felt lousy this morning too); please pray for their office to have a time blessing; pray for God to show us what to do to get Rex' body functioning better. Pray for Rex to be encouraged today.
As always, thank you for caring for us and praying for Rex so consistently,
Donna Meadows
Friday, January 05, 2007
Thursday, January 4, 2007
Today marked the one year anniversary of finding Rex' cancer. In some ways, it seems like this year has flown by, but in other ways, I think we have experienced more this past year than I have experienced in many years of my life. I know that there has been growth in our lives; it is easier to see this growth in Rex than myself obviously, but I know that I have grown if nothing else than I know my thought processes are different about what is important and what's not so important.
The last few months have been marked with intermittent to around the clock pain for Rex. It first started in October and was occasional. It progressed to a daily pain through the holidays. He has been combating it with pain pills, some over the counter and some prescription. It has been somewhat discouraging as his pain has been very severe at times. The bad thing about having cancer is that you assume everything is associated with the disease; it really doesn't leave an open mind to other issues. I have found that this thought process carries over in the medical field, as well. Doctors also usually treat pains as probably cancer related once you have the "diagnosis."
We have been praying about what to do about this pain. Even though we have been given very little hope with chemo (not that it is anything fun to consider in the first place), we have found ourselves doubting what we have thought we are to do prior to this pain; we've found ourselves asking if Rex should take chemo after all. It's really just panic talk. It is sometimes hard to think clearly in the midst of trials.
One of the main reasons that we have thought that it was related to Rex' cancer is because of the location of the pain. It is through the area where his affected adrenal gland is and also his liver area. However, we just realized tonight that it is also the area affected with gall bladder disease or attacks. I personally believe that this is exactly what his pain is coming from. I feel in my heart that this pain he has been having is related to his gall bladder and not the adrenal gland. We finally figured out that it hits him most of the time after he eats; the middle of the night attacks were the ones throwing us off about this. We also know that his healthy eating went downhill to a certain degree once we got heavily involved in The Promise (play at our church). And, with him having been pretty strict up to that point, it probably didn't take much to throw his gall bladder for a loop. We also know that his white blood cell count in his November blood panel showed elevated levels; this is consistent with gall bladder disease, as well. We didn't put all of these pieces together until tonight. Of course, I have no medical confirmation that this is his gall bladder acting up, but that will come soon enough as Rex has a dr. appt. on Tuesday so that we can explore this option.
Natural treatments for gall bladder issues include drinking lemon juice with extra virgin olive oil. Mighty tasty concoction I'll say! Juice fasts of carrots and apples help this process along. So, Rex is enjoying this wonderful mixture in the meantime to see if he has any relief.
Our pastor has encouraged us over the years to ask God for a verse each year to mark that year. This year Rex believes that our verse is Ephesians 3:20.
Ephesians 3:20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,
I usually try to set at least one specific goal each year and try to encourage our children to set goal(s) whether they be as simple as making their bed everyday or no whining. This year as I thought about what goal or goals I would like to set for myself, I really just didn't have any great things come to mind. I think I am asking God for a year of miracles for us. I think the goal that comes to mind the most for me is just to embrace each day to the fullest. Carpe diem! This is not a specific goal unlike my usual goals. Nevertheless, it is a goal.
I remember last year as the year was getting ready to turn over to 2006, Rex and I sat down one afternoon and just talked for several hours about our desires and goals for 2006. We wrote them down, prayed over them, and felt really good about them. Little did we know that just a few days later we were going to face the biggest trial we had ever faced. I am so glad we had that time together that afternoon. It was unpolluted and sincere. I think that it had a huge impact even on how we handled the news of Rex' cancer.
I hope that you make it a common practice to do goal setting and achieving. It doesn't have to be a once a year thing. Some goals may only take a few months to master, so you can set new ones mid-year. My biggest thing about setting goals is that I try to be realistic about them and not set something unachievable. As we grow and mature as people and as Christians, our goals can be set higher to coincide with our maturity.
2007 is a new year! We are looking forward to God doing "exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think."
Where does God find you in 2007?
Donna Meadows
The last few months have been marked with intermittent to around the clock pain for Rex. It first started in October and was occasional. It progressed to a daily pain through the holidays. He has been combating it with pain pills, some over the counter and some prescription. It has been somewhat discouraging as his pain has been very severe at times. The bad thing about having cancer is that you assume everything is associated with the disease; it really doesn't leave an open mind to other issues. I have found that this thought process carries over in the medical field, as well. Doctors also usually treat pains as probably cancer related once you have the "diagnosis."
We have been praying about what to do about this pain. Even though we have been given very little hope with chemo (not that it is anything fun to consider in the first place), we have found ourselves doubting what we have thought we are to do prior to this pain; we've found ourselves asking if Rex should take chemo after all. It's really just panic talk. It is sometimes hard to think clearly in the midst of trials.
One of the main reasons that we have thought that it was related to Rex' cancer is because of the location of the pain. It is through the area where his affected adrenal gland is and also his liver area. However, we just realized tonight that it is also the area affected with gall bladder disease or attacks. I personally believe that this is exactly what his pain is coming from. I feel in my heart that this pain he has been having is related to his gall bladder and not the adrenal gland. We finally figured out that it hits him most of the time after he eats; the middle of the night attacks were the ones throwing us off about this. We also know that his healthy eating went downhill to a certain degree once we got heavily involved in The Promise (play at our church). And, with him having been pretty strict up to that point, it probably didn't take much to throw his gall bladder for a loop. We also know that his white blood cell count in his November blood panel showed elevated levels; this is consistent with gall bladder disease, as well. We didn't put all of these pieces together until tonight. Of course, I have no medical confirmation that this is his gall bladder acting up, but that will come soon enough as Rex has a dr. appt. on Tuesday so that we can explore this option.
Natural treatments for gall bladder issues include drinking lemon juice with extra virgin olive oil. Mighty tasty concoction I'll say! Juice fasts of carrots and apples help this process along. So, Rex is enjoying this wonderful mixture in the meantime to see if he has any relief.
Our pastor has encouraged us over the years to ask God for a verse each year to mark that year. This year Rex believes that our verse is Ephesians 3:20.
Ephesians 3:20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,
I usually try to set at least one specific goal each year and try to encourage our children to set goal(s) whether they be as simple as making their bed everyday or no whining. This year as I thought about what goal or goals I would like to set for myself, I really just didn't have any great things come to mind. I think I am asking God for a year of miracles for us. I think the goal that comes to mind the most for me is just to embrace each day to the fullest. Carpe diem! This is not a specific goal unlike my usual goals. Nevertheless, it is a goal.
I remember last year as the year was getting ready to turn over to 2006, Rex and I sat down one afternoon and just talked for several hours about our desires and goals for 2006. We wrote them down, prayed over them, and felt really good about them. Little did we know that just a few days later we were going to face the biggest trial we had ever faced. I am so glad we had that time together that afternoon. It was unpolluted and sincere. I think that it had a huge impact even on how we handled the news of Rex' cancer.
I hope that you make it a common practice to do goal setting and achieving. It doesn't have to be a once a year thing. Some goals may only take a few months to master, so you can set new ones mid-year. My biggest thing about setting goals is that I try to be realistic about them and not set something unachievable. As we grow and mature as people and as Christians, our goals can be set higher to coincide with our maturity.
2007 is a new year! We are looking forward to God doing "exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think."
Where does God find you in 2007?
Donna Meadows
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
A lot has happened since my last update.
We met with our third oncologist in October. We expected her to have Rex' scans and reports from his previous local oncologist, but she didn't. So, she just gave him a physical exam and poked and prodded for about 30 minutes. At that time, she told us that she wasn't convinced that Rex had cancer because she said he should be doing a lot worse if he had what Rex told her he had. Rex was really nervous about this appointment; he was expecting another gloom and doom report. But, it was not that; we left encouraged.
We went back a couple of weeks later and this time the oncologist did have his scans and reports and agreed that the cancer was on the scans as he had told her. She was still perplexed as to why he was doing as well as he was. Not knowing what else to do, she ordered more scans. It had been 5 months since the last scans (late May).
No matter how much you try not to worry about medical tests, it is so stressful on the body and emotions. Rex' body and emotions were in somewhat of a tailspin for the next two weeks as he prepared to have the new PET scan, going through the actual PET scan, and getting the results. We went to the PET center a couple of days later and picked up the radiologist's report so that we could see what it said before we met with the oncologist again. It is so hard to go to the doctor to get the results -- sitting on the edge of your seat just waiting and hoping that it is a good report, a positive report. Then, if it is not good news, your mind goes numb. It's almost impossible to think intelligently or clearly much less ask anything of value.
So, we got the results and there was bad news and good news on them, but it showed cancer growth. Basically, his adrenal gland and at least one lymph node have quadrupled in size since March. The radiologist didn't compare it to May's scan because they were done in Tulsa, OK and he didn't have that one to use for comparison. Nevertheless, it has grown. It is discouraging. The good news is that it did not show cancer in any new areas, no evidence of cancer in his liver or lungs. And, there is no cancer showing in his esophagus. Rex was very discouraged and simply felt hopeless about beating this illness. He felt that all of his efforts were fruitless and wasteful.
He was lifted out of that gloom when several people at church just prayed for us one evening at the end of "The Promise" practice. He has continued to do the things that he can to boost his immune system; he has continued to read about cancer and research it. He continues to trust God even though it's hard sometimes.
We meet with the oncologist on Monday, Nov. 20th to hear her give us the results and her recommendations. She had already said in our last appointment with her that she didn't see any sense in doing more chemo because it would probably not benefit him any and would just make him sick and destroy his immune system. But, then, he wasn't having any pain; he was working full time; the cancer just didn't seem to be affecting him negatively.
We have seen deterioration in Rex' health this past week. He has been waking up at night or in the early morning hours with a significant amount of pain in his side where the adrenal gland is. It has even affected his ability to take deep breaths because it is too painful. It has interrupted his sleep and not allowed him to rest at night. He has still been going to work, but he is exhausted when he gets home. There was one night recently that he had pain all night and got very little sleep/rest. Since getting the radiologist report, Rex has taken some time off of work here and there to get Vitamin C IV's (these always help him to feel better) and to give his body rest.
With this new development of pain, the oncologist may want to do some chemo. I remember that when my mom had cancer, she took chemo somewhat just to have some pain relief. When she was on chemo, she was sick/nauseous and couldn't eat much and slept alot, but she had pain relief. When she was off chemo, she could eat and wasn't nauseous, but she had incredible non-stop pain.
Please pray for us as we go to this next oncologist appointment. We are praying for God's divine wisdom in this appointment. We are asking God to give this doctor the exact regimen needed for Rex' body even if it makes no sense to her why she should do it. Pray that we will ask the questions that need to be asked.
Please pray for Rex that he could have relief from his pain so that he can get the rest his body needs at night. He is planning to take time off of work throughout the rest of this year to allow his body to rest so that it can repair and fight.
Please pray for us as our family is participating this year in "The Promise", a musical portrayal of the life of Jesus Christ; this is the 10th anniversary of our church doing this. We are sure that there is some evil spiritual attack going on as we try to serve God in this way.
Psalm 13 1 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? 3 Look on me and answer, O Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; 4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall. 5 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. 6 I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.
This Psalm really captures what we have been thinking and feeling this past month. While we may feel forgotten in our trials, God loves us with a love that NEVER fails. He is good all the time.
If you have ever looked at a completed piece of needlepoint on the front and the back, you know that there are distinct differences on the sides. The front side is a beautiful site and shows detail that can cause one to look at it in amazement. The back side does not tell the same story. It shows the knots and the movements that had to be made to make the front side a beautiful piece. It is often quite ugly looking. I believe that these knots and movements represent the trials and growth that we go through in daily life. We spend most of our life looking at the back of that needlepoint piece, while God is looking at the front. He is weaving and stitching every part to be the beautiful piece knowing all along exactly what the piece will look like in the end. We can't always see the front but I do believe that He gives us glimpses of it.
Phillippians 1:6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.
God has begun a good work and will perform it until the day we come face to face with Jesus Christ. Praise Him for His unfailing love and His constant goodness.
Have a great day!
Donna Meadows
We met with our third oncologist in October. We expected her to have Rex' scans and reports from his previous local oncologist, but she didn't. So, she just gave him a physical exam and poked and prodded for about 30 minutes. At that time, she told us that she wasn't convinced that Rex had cancer because she said he should be doing a lot worse if he had what Rex told her he had. Rex was really nervous about this appointment; he was expecting another gloom and doom report. But, it was not that; we left encouraged.
We went back a couple of weeks later and this time the oncologist did have his scans and reports and agreed that the cancer was on the scans as he had told her. She was still perplexed as to why he was doing as well as he was. Not knowing what else to do, she ordered more scans. It had been 5 months since the last scans (late May).
No matter how much you try not to worry about medical tests, it is so stressful on the body and emotions. Rex' body and emotions were in somewhat of a tailspin for the next two weeks as he prepared to have the new PET scan, going through the actual PET scan, and getting the results. We went to the PET center a couple of days later and picked up the radiologist's report so that we could see what it said before we met with the oncologist again. It is so hard to go to the doctor to get the results -- sitting on the edge of your seat just waiting and hoping that it is a good report, a positive report. Then, if it is not good news, your mind goes numb. It's almost impossible to think intelligently or clearly much less ask anything of value.
So, we got the results and there was bad news and good news on them, but it showed cancer growth. Basically, his adrenal gland and at least one lymph node have quadrupled in size since March. The radiologist didn't compare it to May's scan because they were done in Tulsa, OK and he didn't have that one to use for comparison. Nevertheless, it has grown. It is discouraging. The good news is that it did not show cancer in any new areas, no evidence of cancer in his liver or lungs. And, there is no cancer showing in his esophagus. Rex was very discouraged and simply felt hopeless about beating this illness. He felt that all of his efforts were fruitless and wasteful.
He was lifted out of that gloom when several people at church just prayed for us one evening at the end of "The Promise" practice. He has continued to do the things that he can to boost his immune system; he has continued to read about cancer and research it. He continues to trust God even though it's hard sometimes.
We meet with the oncologist on Monday, Nov. 20th to hear her give us the results and her recommendations. She had already said in our last appointment with her that she didn't see any sense in doing more chemo because it would probably not benefit him any and would just make him sick and destroy his immune system. But, then, he wasn't having any pain; he was working full time; the cancer just didn't seem to be affecting him negatively.
We have seen deterioration in Rex' health this past week. He has been waking up at night or in the early morning hours with a significant amount of pain in his side where the adrenal gland is. It has even affected his ability to take deep breaths because it is too painful. It has interrupted his sleep and not allowed him to rest at night. He has still been going to work, but he is exhausted when he gets home. There was one night recently that he had pain all night and got very little sleep/rest. Since getting the radiologist report, Rex has taken some time off of work here and there to get Vitamin C IV's (these always help him to feel better) and to give his body rest.
With this new development of pain, the oncologist may want to do some chemo. I remember that when my mom had cancer, she took chemo somewhat just to have some pain relief. When she was on chemo, she was sick/nauseous and couldn't eat much and slept alot, but she had pain relief. When she was off chemo, she could eat and wasn't nauseous, but she had incredible non-stop pain.
Please pray for us as we go to this next oncologist appointment. We are praying for God's divine wisdom in this appointment. We are asking God to give this doctor the exact regimen needed for Rex' body even if it makes no sense to her why she should do it. Pray that we will ask the questions that need to be asked.
Please pray for Rex that he could have relief from his pain so that he can get the rest his body needs at night. He is planning to take time off of work throughout the rest of this year to allow his body to rest so that it can repair and fight.
Please pray for us as our family is participating this year in "The Promise", a musical portrayal of the life of Jesus Christ; this is the 10th anniversary of our church doing this. We are sure that there is some evil spiritual attack going on as we try to serve God in this way.
Psalm 13 1 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? 3 Look on me and answer, O Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; 4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall. 5 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. 6 I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.
This Psalm really captures what we have been thinking and feeling this past month. While we may feel forgotten in our trials, God loves us with a love that NEVER fails. He is good all the time.
If you have ever looked at a completed piece of needlepoint on the front and the back, you know that there are distinct differences on the sides. The front side is a beautiful site and shows detail that can cause one to look at it in amazement. The back side does not tell the same story. It shows the knots and the movements that had to be made to make the front side a beautiful piece. It is often quite ugly looking. I believe that these knots and movements represent the trials and growth that we go through in daily life. We spend most of our life looking at the back of that needlepoint piece, while God is looking at the front. He is weaving and stitching every part to be the beautiful piece knowing all along exactly what the piece will look like in the end. We can't always see the front but I do believe that He gives us glimpses of it.
Phillippians 1:6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.
God has begun a good work and will perform it until the day we come face to face with Jesus Christ. Praise Him for His unfailing love and His constant goodness.
Have a great day!
Donna Meadows
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