Monday, March 20, 2006

Well...I still don't have internet; we thought it was router instead it is the modem. We are trying to get it fixed.

Anyway, we got the results of the CT/PET scan today. There has been significant improvement in Rex' health. I have a copy of the results, so that I can give you the details.

The original CT/PET scan revealed to us that Rex had an 8 cm mass at the base of his esophagus leading into his stomach, several lymph nodes showing cancerous activity, an area in the spleen showing possible cancerous activity, and the adrenal gland on his kidney showing activity.

Now, for the current scan:

This CT part of the scan doesn't register a mass in the esophagus at all! The PET part of the scan shows that the SUV (sugar uptake value) has marked decrease. The SUV value on the first scan was an 18 and has decreased to a 3.1 -- so there is no mass to be seen but there are still cancer cells in there.

The lesion in the spleen has SUV values that have decreased from a range of 3.6 - 7.3 to a range of 1.7 - 3.5 -- if I understand this correctly, there is less cancer activity i.e. less cancer cells in the spleen -- again that is improvement.

There are two lymph nodes that have not changed in size, but again there was a mild decrease in sugar uptake on this exam compared to the prior exam. These two lymph nodes are located near the esophagus.

There is another lymph node that shows marked decrease in size and activity on this PET scan.
The lungs are clear; the liver and kidneys show no activity; no activity in the bones was seen.
Overall, we got a great report! This battle is not over yet, but great strides have been made toward eradicating this cancer.

Our next step is to meet with the surgeon. We really aren't sure what the next step will be. If there is no "mass" in the esophagus, it seems unnecessary to remove it. The spleen and adrenal gland may be what they want to remove. The Dr. was noncommittal about what to do next, so he wants us to see the surgeon here first, then the surgeon at Baptist before we take the next step. We asked if the Dr. would maybe want to do some more chemo before considering surgery. He wants us to talk to the surgeons first.

Thank you thank you thank you for all the prayers that you have lifted up on our behalf, particularly on Rex' behalf. God answers prayer! This is definite proof of that.

God's wisdom is just as important now as it was when Rex was first diagnosed. They weren't expecting this much improvement show it gives leeway in what to do next. I still would very much like to see surgery out of the picture, however, the invasive removal of the esophagus was really the dread in my heart. The removal of the spleen and adrenal gland doesn't seem to entail as much in surgery. We won't know more until we meet with the surgeons. Our appointment witht the surgeon here in Hickory is currrently scheduled for March 30th, but Dr. Tate's office wants us to meet with him sooner. So, they are trying to get us scheduled sooner.
Rex and I are very thankful to God for his love for us; he has certainly extended mercy and grace to us through all of this. We are just so very appreciative of that.

There have been some that have said, "Why Rex?" and even "Why not me instead of Rex?" Please understand that Rex and I fully believe that God is refining us, purifying us, and growing us for His glory. We are honored to be considered worthy or faithful or strong enough to carry this torch. It doesn't mean that it's not painful, and it certainly doesn't mean that it's easy to bear, and it doesn't mean that at times I don't want to bear it. What it does mean is that God wants to use this in the lives of us and others to draw people closer to the only hope we have in life and that hope is Jesus Christ.

There is deep maturity that can take place in our lives when these storms are harsh and when they are hard. Rex recently talked about the study of plant growth, and that the most growth takes place not when the rains are light and easy, but rather when the winds are the strongest and storms are harsh. That is a very good way to look at the storm we are going through. Whenever you encounter things in life that are difficult, you will have a response to it. You will either allow it to refine you, give you more character, make you a stronger person, and make you more like Christ or you will respond in anger, think it is unfair and refuse to "grow up." We have chosen to allow God to work in our lives and make us stronger, deepen our character and to mold us into usable vessels for Him.

We love you. Continue to pray for God's wisdom and guidance in our lives.

Donna Meadows

Friday, March 17, 2006

Our internet is out at home, so I haven't been able to update the blog. I am at my dad's house, so I thought that I would do a quick update.

Rex had his PET scan on Thursday. It was originally planned for Tuesday, but we moved it to Thursday. We will find out the results on Monday, March 20th.

Hopefully, my internet will be up and running by then, so I can update you on the results.

Thank you for praying.

Donna Meadows

Monday, March 6, 2006

Just a quick note...

Rex is not going to have his PET scan done on Tuesday, March 7th. It has been pushed up to Tuesday, March 14th. The March 7th scan was scheduled before this last week of chemo. The dr. wants a full two weeks to pass between the chemo/radiation and the scan. Since the chemo was not done Feb13-17th as originally planned and instead was done Feb 20-24th, the scan has been pushed up a week. I know a lot of people were going to be praying tomorrow, so I wanted to let everyone know that we have another week until the scan.

Thanks,

Donna Meadows

Friday, March 3, 2006

I have to give God glory today. We are feeling much better today than yesterday. My fever is gone, and my energy level went up all day long. Erin is feeling much, much better. Rex has eaten more today than he has eaten in a week, so I know he is feeling a little better. He is still running a fever, though. This stuff will be harder on him than us because of his weakened immune system. Lindsey is still down with a fever, but she has a great attitude and hasn't really let it stop her from playing.

This afternoon, I could tell Lindsey was getting droopy-eyed, so I sat down with her to rock her. I was singing songs to her, and when I started singing, "God is so good" -- she joined me and sang it with me. We sang it several times after that, until she went to sleep. I can't imagine anything better that could be going through her mind as she went to sleep than "God is so good." It was a sweet, precious time.

Many of you have asked us what you can do for us; we have lived our lives these past several weeks day to day, never knowing what each day might bring. So, I have mostly done what needed to be done myself or close friends and family have been available to help me on a moments' notice. I guess what I can say to you all is that if there is something specific that you want to do or if God lays something on your heart to do, then offer it or just do it. If you ask me, I will tell you if it is something that can be done or needed now or if, in some cases, it will be better later. Rex has worked a total of 28 hours in the last six weeks time. And, I have food in my pantry and freezer, and no unpaid bills because of people just simply loving on us the way that they do it best at just the right time. God has met our needs day by day. It is beautiful experiencing the Body of Christ working together. Each one of you have your own gift, and it's great seeing God use you through it. It is certainly making a huge impact on us.

We have received numerous cards in the last couple months from people expressing their love and prayers for us. We have cried over many of them. I would like to make a request in that sense. My two older girls, especially Amber, love to receive something in the mail. If you have a desire to send a card, I would like to ask you to address it to Amber and/or Erin. That doesn't mean that we don't want your cards; it would just make their day if they were to receive some cards too.

Thank you for praying for us.

Donna Meadows

Thursday, March 2, 2006 #2

There are now four of us with fevers, fatigue, achiness, congestion, and mucus. I have developed a fever this evening, and Lindsey just came home with a fever. Amber is the only one showing signs of health right now.

I took the time to update because I don't believe we have ever had this many people sick at one time in our family before. Please pray for recovery. I just want to cry. I feel like we are just falling apart physically. I don't know how to ease it. Physically, we are beat.

Also, pray for my cousin's family (the Pooveys) as they have been exposed in their willingness to help us.

God is still good.

Donna Meadows

Thursday, March 2, 2006

Rex came home Tuesday morning from the hospital still feeling light-headed and weak; nevertheless, he came home. He drank quite a bit of fluids Tuesday, but still on Wednesday, he needed more fluids. He is having really bad night sweats and seems to be sweating out all of his fluids, thus the dehydration and the electrolyte imbalance. I took him to the dr. office for more fluids Wednesday. He seemed to be feeling a little better Wednesday, at least his color looked better.

We all have some sort of sickness right now. Lindsey started early this week with a snotty nose that went to chest congestion. I started to feel really run down Wednesday with some sort of junk including burning chest, cough, snotty nose and fatigue. Erin started Wednesday afternoon with a fever and said she just had a sore throat. Amber has a very mild cough starting now.

Thursday: I took Erin and Rex to the family physician -- Erin for a strep test and Rex just because he is still so run down and susceptible to illness. Now that we have illness inside the home, I was afraid it would escalate and possibly already had. Erin tested negative for the strep, so they did a flu test and she tested positive. Erin and Rex are taking Tamiflu now. Lindsey and Amber feel the best, so my cousin is taking care of them for me giving me a chance to concentrate on Rex, Erin, and myself.

Rex has lost a total of 50 pounds now since all of this has started. He has been able to eat very little in the last week. He has mainly survived on Boost, water, and Gatorade. Some food he keeps down, some he loses to vomiting.

We are very tired and just plain worn out.

Please pray that Rex will not catch any more illness and that we will all get back to good health.

Donna Meadows

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Rex was able to go through the entire week last week getting his chemo each day. As the week wore on, he got weaker and weaker. Again, same as last time, he started vomiting on Friday. We braced ourselves for the days sure to follow. Rex attempted valliantly to not get dehydrated this time - sipping, drinking at every possible moment. He spent most of the weekend in the bed trying to lay still to avoid more vomiting and to ward off nausea.

Rex thought he would be ok Sunday while we were at church. He ended up calling me toward the end of Sunday School needing me to come home. This time I prepared the right way for our trip to the hospital. I called the on-call number for Rex' doctor and decided to let them take care of getting Rex some fluids. It was a huge change from the week before. We were able to go in and get Rex started on fluids pretty quick. He stayed two nights getting fluids and medicine for nausea. He has also developed a nasty case of thrush which doesn't encourage eating. He started to come home Monday afternoon, but ended up vomiting more; so, he stayed the second night. On Tuesday morning, he did come home. He spent most of the day in bed; he managed to get up from time to time attempting to look alive only to find his energy and stamina to be pitiful putting him back in the bed.

I have had several times that I wanted to send an update and share, but I think that I bottomed out myself. These last seven weeks of physical and emotional strain finally wiped me out. I was just too weary. I had to take some time to rest.

There have been many who have shared with us that they really feel that God is going to use this trial in our lives to strengthen our walk and our testimony, and that they really believe that Rex will be healed of this disease. In the last seven weeks, as different people would share that with me, I would respond either verbally or in my heart that I did not have that same assurance or promise. I carried in my heart the promise that God was going to give us the strength to go through this trial day by day. I also had the security that God is in control and that He is allowing this trial because He knows the future and He knows what is absolute best for us - that's part of that complete trust that I have in God and His love for us. But, God had not given me any promise that Rex would be healed.

I have shed many, many tears asking God for healing. I even went through a time in the beginning trying to "earn" Rex' healing, essentially trying to bargain with God for Rex' health to be given back to him. I realized that if I "earned" his health, in my heart God would not get the glory. I realized that if I "earned" his health, then my life would probably not be changed. The changes would be temporary. I don't want to be changed temporarily. I want my life to surge to a new level of devotion for Him. I can't "earn" anything from God. I can't "earn" grace, love, mercy or salvation. It is His gift to me, and He gets the glory when I accept it. My devotion to God is not even of myself; if it weren't for Him living in me, I couldn't be faithful or dedicated. He makes it possible.

Not only have I asked for healing, but I have specifically asked God to heal Rex before the surgery. I am a strong believer in the Master Design of the human body. Every part of our bodies have purpose and function. If God put it there, then there is purpose for it. The thoughts of removing part of that design doesn't thrill me at all. I do realize that there are times when these bodies have to be adjusted to keep them functioning, but I don't take it lightly.

This morning I experienced something unique. I was sitting at the table eating breakfast. I was casually flipping through the latest Focus on the Family mag; I was reading bits and pieces here and there when I felt this quiet voice in my heart simply say, "He's not going to have surgery; he's fine." It was a strange and chilling moment. I kinda got lost in that thought trying to determine what in the world brought it on. I re-read the article I was reading to see if maybe that had triggered it. No, it really had nothing in it to ellicit this thought. Then, I thought to myself maybe it was God giving me a promise for Rex' health. I also thought that it could be explained as wishful thinking. The strange thing about that is that I was thinking nothing about Rex and cancer when this happened. It was if my thoughts had been interrupted, very similar to the experience of having a conversation with someone and being interrupted abruptly by a third person.

I have hesitated, pondered, and prayed all day whether I should even share this because of it's prophetic impression. Do I doubt that the Holy Spirit speaks to us? No. I just want to be very careful about making such strong statements. I tried to think of every perspective that I could on this. If I tell people about this and Rex' scan on March 7th shows no change, then what do I say. How do I explain it? I can't. If I don't tell people about this, and his scan shows that he is healed, is that a missed opportunity to show God's power and grace? Believe me, I have thought of this quite a bit today. If I share this and there is no change or Rex still has the surgery or even worse, he gets sicker, then does that diminish God's power at all in the minds of all of you that have prayed for us and kept up with these updates? I believe that God answers prayer; would this make it seem as if He doesn't? I don't want to do anything that is going to be a stumbling block or plant seeds of doubt in your minds about our testimony which ultimately reflects Jesus Christ in our lives.

Further, when I attempt to pray for Rex' healing now, it's as if it is a mute point. It feels like I am attempting to utter empty words, kinda like praying for safety for a trip that you took last month. I can't explain it any better than that. I feel in my heart that God has taken care of it. My heart feels lighter, almost fluttery. My mind says to pray; my heart says it's done.

I will leave it like that. You do what God leads you to do for us. If he burdens you to pray a certain way, then do it. Whatever you do, don't worry -- I am not going looney. I will accept the truth of Rex' health whatever it may be. I have tried to be very honest about what we have experienced through this, how we have felt, what we have thought. I realized that I could not send much of an update today without expressing the truth in my heart.

Isaiah 58:8-12
8 Then your light shall break forth like the morning, Your healing shall spring forth speedily, And your righteousness shall go before you; The glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard. 9 Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; You shall cry, and He will say, 'Here I am.' "If you take away the yoke from your midst, The pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness, 10 If you extend your soul to the hungry And satisfy the afflicted soul, Then your light shall dawn in the darkness, And your darkness shall be as the noonday. 11 The Lord will guide you continually, And satisfy your soul in drought, And strengthen your bones; You shall be like a watered garden, And like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. 12 Those from among you Shall build the old waste places; You shall raise up the foundations of many generations; And you shall be called the Repairer of the Breach, The Restorer of Streets to Dwell In.

I have shared this Scripture before; it has added meaning to me today.

To God be the Glory for everything,

Donna Meadows