I have never been fond of the sport of boxing. Growing up between 2 brothers required me to participate in some of their boy activities if I wanted to be included. One of those activities was boxing. We would lay out a blanket for our boxing ring, don some toy boxing gloves, and have a match. I never was very good at it. I could never get the upperhand, and once the punching started, I really became a punching bag instead of a boxer. Needless to say, within minutes, I was tired of the game and ready to quit. As I grew, I have often looked at the sport with indifference; what is really fun and recreational about clobbering another person?
Then, there was Rex. He, on the other hand, liked the boxing fight. In particular, Rex always liked the Rocky movies. I had seen them, but I wasn't particularly endeared to them like he was. Rex talked to me several times about his fanatics with Rocky during his teenage years. Rex liked the underdog presence. He liked the strenuous preparation for the fight; he liked the "never give up" and "never stop believing" mentality in the fight.
In these last couple of years, I have felt like I have been in a spiritual boxing match with the evil of this world. When I serve the Lord or spend time with Him or minister to someone, I have given a good hard punch to evil. Soon after, there is a punch back. Do I dodge it? Does it stun me for a minute? Does it knock the breath out of me? Does it make me take a step back? Does it knock me down?
In 2 1/2 years of blogging our journey, I have watched a boxing match being played out. After every blog update that I have done, there has been some sort of test/trial/punch soon after. My blog post was my punch into darkness. And, then the return punch comes, and it usually lines up directly with something in my blog post. Sometimes, I have gotten discouraged and thought I was wasting my time. Who am I to write these words? Sometimes, I have cried tears thinking I couldn't bear anymore. Sometimes, I have felt so weary and wanted to quit. Sometimes, I have had to evaluate whether I really meant what I said. Am I really walking my talk? Sometimes, I have had a pity party for myself. And, sometimes, I have simply gotten mad at evil and declared that I was going to stand strong.
Whether I was knocked back a step or completely knocked down, God has always been in the corner coaching me, encouraging me and giving me strength to stay in the ring.
There have been times when I have been punched, and I have thought that wasn't so bad, and then there have been times, when I have been completely knocked down and didn't want to get up; I didn't think I could get up. In these moments, I find myself where Rocky Balboa is in the movie. He has fought long and hard, and he is seemingly down for the count. But, then he remembers why he is fighting; he knows that he is going to fight to the end. He is not giving up. And, with the crowd cheering, he manages to pull himself up to continue the fight to win.
After my last post, I took a hard punch. It knocked the breath out of me and quite frankly, knocked me down. In that post, I talked about letting go of the peripheals of my life and focusing on seeking God. Just like you, one of the peripheals of my life is money; I want to make wise decisions, and I have great dreams for God. In the last couple of months, I made a decision to take a great risk financially. I spent a great deal of time seeking God's guidance on it. It was out of my comfort zone because I am not a risk taker. The more I fought the decision, the more I felt God's leading, and so I finally made the decision to take the risk. A few weeks passed, and I posted my July blog entry. Just a week after my update, I was faced with the very real possibility that I had risked and lost. It hit me hard and threw me by surprise. I questioned whether I meant what I said. Did I really let go of the peripheals of my life? I questioned whether I knew God's voice. Did I really hear Him clearly guide me in this direction?
While I was lying there in the ring wondering if I wanted to get up again, I heard Him speak. Above all the noise around me, I heard God say to me, I am here; I am here to gird you for the battle. Take refuge in me. I will arm you with strength and make your way perfect.
He spoke to me through my quiet time in 2 Samuel.
2 Samuel 22 19 They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. 20 He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me. 21 "The Lord has dealt with me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me. 22 For I have kept the ways of the Lord; I have not done evil by turning from my God. 23 All his laws are before me; I have not turned away from his decrees. 24 I have been blameless before him and have kept myself from sin. 25 The Lord has rewarded me according to my righteousness, according to my cleanness in his sight. 26 "To the faithful you show yourself faithful, to the blameless you show yourself blameless, 27 to the pure you show yourself pure, but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd. 28 You save the humble, but your eyes are on the haughty to bring them low. 29 You are my lamp, O Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light. 30 With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall. 31 "As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. 32 For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? 33 It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. 34 He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. 35 He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. 36 You give me your shield of victory; you stoop down to make me great. 37 You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn. 38 "I pursued my enemies and crushed them; I did not turn back till they were destroyed. 39 I crushed them completely, and they could not rise; they fell beneath my feet. 40 You armed me with strength for battle; you made my adversaries bow at my feet. 41 You made my enemies turn their backs in flight, and I destroyed my foes. 42 They cried for help, but there was no one to save them-- to the Lord, but he did not answer. 43 I beat them as fine as the dust of the earth; I pounded and trampled them like mud in the streets
The greatest thing about this battle is that I know who wins. As long as I keep getting up and stay in the ring, I will not be defeated. And, so I get up time after time and keep going.
Where are you in your match? Are you armed with strength or are you knocked down? Take refuge in Him and let God be your shield. He will arm you with strength and make your way perfect. Get up and stay in the ring.
I still don't know whether I risked and lost with my recent decision; I do know that I am standing firm in the ring, and I will continue to fight for the cause of Christ.
Please continue to pray because the strength and power that I have is not my own; it is clearly the power of the Holy Spirit through prayer.
To God be all the glory,
Donna
