It has been several weeks since I have posted an update. I know that my last update somewhat pictured a gloomy time for us. God has since swept in and brought us out of that sadness and done some great things for us. Thank you for praying for us.
About six weeks ago, during my quiet time of reading Job, I felt God telling me to change my focus in all of this. I primarily had my focus on praying for healing for Rex. I believe God spoke to me in my heart and told me to shift my focus from praying so much over our circumstance and to instead pray for the days ahead. I believe that God wants me to focus on praying for God to develop Rex' ministry, and specifically his leadership. That doesn't mean that I am not going to pray for Rex' health, but I don't believe that I need to spend all of my time focusing on his health, instead I need to focus on what God is going to do with Rex' life, with our lives, through this circumstance.
Sometimes, we start asking and then God delivers before we even expect it. I am already seeing God do some wonderful things through Rex. I am seeing a shift in Rex' perspective of his life. We have previously been consumed, so to speak, with desiring and seeking healing for Rex. While we knew that God was allowing this to happen so that He could mature us, it hadn't really "sunk in" so that we could look to what is ahead.
Last weekend was a pivotal, turning point for us. We had a great opportunity to go to The Cove for the weekend. One of our favorite teachers, Chip Ingram, was there. We had signed up to go to this seminar several months in advance. We didn’t really pay any attention to the topic of the seminar at the time we registered. I don't remember if we didn't know what the topic was or it just didn't really register with us, but the topic of the seminar was "When Jesus Rebuilds Your World" using James 1:1-18. As the time for us to go to The Cove drew near, we realized that this was such an appropriate conference for us because He is rebuilding us day by day. Little did we know the impact it would have on us. It was a confirmation of what we already knew in our minds but hadn't really grabbed hold of in our hearts.
Sunday morning was the highlight of our weekend. We had a testimony time, and Rex felt he needed to share but didn't really know what he was going to say. Nevertheless, he knew he had to. So, he just gave a short testimony about our circumstance, "I was diagnosed with stage IV esophageal cancer and the doctors really only expected me to live about 6 - 12 months..." and Rex just went on to explain that the weekend was a confirmation of what God had been revealing to us through these last several months of our own difficult trial. Immediately, after his testimony, the man directly in front of Rex (keep in mind there are a few hundred people in this auditorium), took the microphone from Rex and stood up to share, but as he stood, he put his hand on Rex; it was obvious that he was going to directly speak to Rex. He started by saying, "I too, Rex was diagnosed with stage IV esophageal cancer and was given a life expectancy of 2-4 months, and I am here to tell you that God is faithful, and it has been six years since that time." It was a special touch from God. I don't believe that I have ever felt so loved by God than I did at that moment. For Him to strategically place that man, whom we had not seen or spoken to all weekend, directly in front of Rex for that very moment was nothing short of God showing Rex and I how much He loved us. It was a very emotional time for me in that auditorium. I had been crying since Rex had begun sharing, but after all of that, I looked around and realized that many, many other people were crying too.
The mountain top time did not end there. That afternoon, while we were relaxing in our inn, Rex went to the lobby area to get something to drink and started talking to a couple that we had actually met the first night at supper, but hadn't really talked to since. The husband asked Rex how he got saved, and so Rex went through his whole testimony of what brought him to a point where he knew that He needed Christ in his life and shared all the way through his battle with cancer. As he was talking, he noticed the lady intently listening to his testimony but didn't think much about it. The husband briefly shared how he had been an alcoholic and had given his life to Christ. That night after dinner, Ed Graham gave a devotional message and he simply gave the gospel message. Well, that lady gave her life to Christ that night. The next morning at breakfast, she shared this with us and told Rex that his testimony was a huge factor in her making that decision the night before. Talk about icing on the cake!
There is so much that I could recount about our weekend. I think that I will share what I am learning in bits.
One thing we need to know and understand is that trials are unavoidable -- you will have them. When you encounter a trial, how do you respond? Do you look at them as a tragedy or an opportunity? Are you a victim or a conqueror? Do you ask "Why me?" or "Why is this happening?" or do you ask "What" questions? "What do you want me to do?" "What must I do?" "What am I to learn?"
1 Peter 4:12 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.
I don't think that I have ever encountered a trial or difficult time in my life and had a response of, "Well, I was wondering when things were going to get normal again." We are not to be surprised when we experience difficult times; they are part of growing up.
I guess I kind of look at my entire spiritual life as being in school. I am taught something either through godly teaching or reading God's Word, then I am literally tested on it in my daily life; if I pass (i.e. if I have incorporated that principle into my life, if I've grown from it, if I am stronger from it, if I have overcome that temptation, if I have developed discipline in some area, if I become a doer and not just a hearer, etc.), then I move to the next lesson; if I didn't grow/learn from it, then I will feasibly get another test on it. Each test is an opportunity to become more mature, wiser, and closer to the heart of God. If you buck every test and refuse to learn from it, and whine about even having to take the test, then, in all likelihood you will be re-tested and it will probably be harder the next time. Not only that, you have cut yourself off from blessings that come after passing the test, especially the blessing of being in fellowship with God. I'm not sure if this is an accurate, biblical picture of our trials, but it does seem to me to be in line with the trials that I have faced.
I also picture this from a parenting perspective. As we disciple our kids and teach them, it is hard work. For instance, when I tell one of my children to clean up their room and they don't do it, there is a consequence. When they do obey, then they get to enjoy the blessing of being in fellowship with me instead of being at odds. And, they will be asked to do it again and again until they make a decision to incorporate it into their lives and learn to be responsible (do it without being told or prompted). There are also times when outside forces cause our kids pain, maybe they experience rejection at school from other kids or maybe it's a disappointment from not making the sports team. How are you going to teach them to handle these injustices? Are they going to take the part of a victim and vehemently proclaim that life is not fair and those kids are mean, or that the coach already has his pet favorites for the team, never really getting beyond the trial? Or, are you going to teach them to pray for those kids or the coach, confront the kids and/or their parents or whatever else may be appropriate for the situation that resolves it and helps you to learn/grow from the injustice?
Just because we become adults doesn't mean that our schooling is done. Growing up is a lifelong process.
I have been somewhat hesitant to update more frequently because I guess I feel that you are tired of hearing about us. Yet, I know that many of you are so faithful to pray for us. Words cannot express how appreciative we are for your prayers for us, for Rex’ health. We firmly believe that the reason he is working full-time with the stamina he has is a direct result of the many prayers that have been lifted up. I don’t think a thousand thank you’s could ever be enough.
God bless. Have a great day!
Donna Meadows
